Pigeon holes, labeling and online dating

I’ll start with a warning shall I, this one isn’t as amusing as the others the world is mean and I’m being mean back.


I joined a dating site a few weeks ago (plenty of fish . com) and it’s a slog just using it, you send message after message to girls who never answer, but oddly this is not what’s annoying me, if I’m not their type then I’m not. I decided to do a little research today, so went to my trusty friend google. Course I forgot what kind of friend google is, google brings you everything not caring there is stuff in there you’d rather not know. So what I wanted to know was the general opinion out there of when to mention your disabled when dating online, whither you put it on your profile or mention it in your conversations. So in return google gives me a few forum posts on the subject, a few interesting articles on the subject and a few dating websites spesificaly for people with disabilities. It’s the last one that made me squirm and I wasn’t sure why for a little while. But then it came to me, it’s labeling in the nastiest way, the kind well meaning way.


I can understand the logic:

1. Disabled people understand what it is to be disabled – so does this mean abled bodied people can’t? I’d say no.

2. Disabled people find it hard to get dates. – as do allot of people, but I’ll agree with this point as I find it hard to see facial expressions sometimes and have probably missed an interested girl or two.

3. It takes away the whole ‘do I mention it’/’how do I mention it’ problem mentioned earlier – I’ll give them this too.

See I’ve agreed with two points, but point 1 is the one that’s the most utter crap, if we follow this logic then we’d be agreeing with all those little bigots who think only people with the same skin tone can date, you shouldn’t date if someone had a different passport than you or that one group is better or worse than another. It makes a mockery of the idea their trying to promote, very good you’ve worked out disabled people need love and partners, but do you really think the best way of doing that is to define us by that. WE’RE F@@@ING PEOPLE not a collection of damaged bits!!!


Labeling and pigeon holing people into categories like this is unhealthy for a society, it leads to bad places. It leads to people looking down on others simply because they’ve had the misfortune to pick an asshole as a partner who left them with a child, it leads to the kind of place where people don’t think twice about ignoring someone based on their country of origin, it leads to a place where we’re scared of the different, and I don’t like the sound of that place!

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The Important things in life!

I think I was a mobile phone away from burning myself to death tonight. I completely forgot I had put dinner on, luckily the phone’s timer reminded me.


So it has me thinking of the things you need to live.

Obviously friends and family, we all need those. A little love and happy in your life is a nesessity.

A mobile to stay in touch, and in my case stop me burning down a building.

A good cup of coffee, very important to keep your head awake. Gives you something to hold and drink while chatting to one of the friends/family above, see everything is intercenected.

A hobby or two, be it stamp collecting or skydiving you need something to do in your spare time or you might end up going mad and writing something like this. Personally I have a huge dvd collection and read lots and lots of books, and write this as some form of therapy or perhaps revenge. On whom you may ask, well I haven’t decided yet I must advertise for a decent Nemesis.

What else do we need, well somewhere to live I presume. You’d need somewhere to store all your crap, I have allot of that.


Pets, I’m a big fan of them. Cats are good, I have two and their plotting to take over the world, well all cats think it belongs to them anyway.


Nights out, yeah why not we’ll have them too. Dam this list is getting big.


Someone special, yes that too would be nice.


Hmmm, I’m sure there is something else we need. Something small. Oh it’ll come to me later.


Oh yeah money, anyone got any? I don’t!

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The wonders of free stuff :)

Free stuff is great isn’t it and it tastes better. I had a free coffee today from costa, well I say free I’d got all the points added up on my ‘keep track of how coffee addicted you are’ card, so I used them. There’s that, and the free games on facebook that I’m so addicted to that I suspect I’ve nearly completed the CSI game, the little people look like scoby do characters, I’m determined to get to the case where it turned out to be the creepy janitor all along. 🙂

But free stuff is always better:

Your mate’s chips always taste better than yours, as do their sweets, or anything else they may be silly enough to share,

The sample bit of cake they give you is always nicer than the one you buy from the shop,

A smile on someones face, (well which do you prefer an angry sod walking towards you or a smiling person, naturally assuming they have no clipboard)

Hugs, cuddles and kisses are also free. See more nice things. Obviously I could go further, but some of us are single and don’t want reminded 😛

Wouldn’t you love everything to be as free as the sunshine, that’s the big glowey thing in the sky that’s meant to be out in the summer by the way (it will come back one day, I have faith in it).

Now I must go and find some free dinner, or a chemist that actually has my medication (I’m not going to rant about that!)


Oh wait, this is my blog right? I can rant, yes? Yup that’s what I thought.


I like the fact I get free meds, I couldn’t survive paying for the drugs. And I’d be a terrible thief (you see I have this conscience, I find it hard to be mean or complain in reality). It’s free, the NHS keeps me alive and I’m pretty sure other healthcare systems wouldn’t, but is it to much to ask for them to write the correct dose on the form. SO I CAN GET THE RIGHT PILLS!


Oh I feel better now. BYE!

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Random thinking

I’m a rather bored person at the moment, so I thought (well a friend of mine suggested) that I start writing a blog again.

But what to fill one with, enlightened thought, deep political discussion or just the random crap that enters my head.


Hmm, tough choice. In the past I’ve discussed lunch, what I’ve learned from TV shows and movies and anything that entered my head. So that settles it, I’m just gonna write whatever random crap that come out, you should always stick to your strengths after all. There may be some deep philosophy in here somewhere, but you may have to look really hard for it.

So what to start with, err well life is dull and meaningless and in the end nothing matters you know. Alternatively life is full of cool stuff, pretty girls and homicidal cats. The second philosophical viewpoint is preferable isn’t it. Even if it means that little moggy is just waiting for the day it works out where the meat comes from and how to open those little pouches.

Moggy doesn’t seem to be a real word according to my computer, this is very sad. Mine are currently hiding and presumably plotting the overthrow of the government before they tax them, or cut funding to cats (I’m sure they’d try a fur tax if they could work it out).


Are you still reading? Oh you poor soul.


I’ll let you go now, I’m not that heartless.


I wonder what strange things I’ll end up writing next. I once wrote an advert for henchmen, that’s how bored I can get. Scary!


And now to find the post button. 🙂

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