Rules to live life by

There are many important things to remember when walking around every day. There are many things that one should and should not do, of course if you can’t help yourself then make sure you don’t get caught.

 

Things to do. 

Be nice – it infuriates horrible people.

Always smile – It makes nice people happy and nasty people wonder what your up to and going to do to them.

Be sociable – then you’ll have more friends than the nasty person.

Have no living enemies

Know where the bodies are burred – se previous point.

Think before you talk – that way when you insult people, you’ll get it right and those quotes you have from Oscar Wilde or P.G. Woodhouse or whoever will sound right.

Drink coffee/tea/hot chocolate slowly – the stuff is nice and should be savoured.

Eat breakfast – I’m told it’s the most important meal of the day.

Eat lunch – This is the fun one, you can have it with friends while watching the world go by.

Go people watching – it’s fun but don’t stare, the not staring will be hard though.

Read a few books – doesn’t matter what kind, fiction/non-fiction hell even the phone book will broaden your horizons (for a start it will give you a way of making lots of new friends).

Always be nice to the person serving you food – what things would you do to the irritating git who’s been insulting when you have access to their dinner.

 

 

Things not to do

Walk through 6 ft tall blind men – this will hurt you more than me, it will only irritate me. Unless your the 5th person that day in which case it’ll hurt me more.

Talk to a gril’s chest – this will end in pain!

Forget to eat – this isn’t good and leads to friends talking sternly to you.

Pretend to be thick – it’s annoying

Forget birthdays – this is bad

Get caught

Overcook pasta – this should be a capital offence

Cook a bad steak – this shouldn’t just be punishable by death, but possibly be the grounds to erase you from existence. Steak is very important and that poor cow gave up it’s life for you to have a nice meal.

Have your phone able to ring in the cinema – do this to often and there is a special place in hell booked for you!


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About andydwn

I'm a student, and I'm writing a blog to get all my random thoughts out on my head and into any unsuspecting reader's.
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